On Anonymity

Dear Readers,

You may want to click away and come back tomorrow, for Moodswinging Mommy is getting all stream-of-consciousy today.  Besides, she hasn't yet had her coffee.  (As if inventing words isn't proof enough.)   If you are of a brave sort, then by all means, read on...

When it comes to the Internet, anonymity is both a blessing and a curse.

As a blogger, I cannot enjoy one of its blessings.   My family and friends read my blog.  Some read it regularly enough to make me censor the topics on which I choose to write.  (Message to Family and Friends: Yes, I can see you,even if you don't leave me comments.  Did I mention to you that I LOVE COMMENTS?  Never mind. That's a topic for another day.) Super Dad also reserves the right to final editorial approval. Since I blog about him and have to live with him, that's just best for our marriage, not to mention that it's common courtesy.  To that, I might add that he's an open-minded fellow and has only exercised this option once or twice.

Sigh.  So much bloggable material left untouched.  And trust me when I say that it's really good stuff, too.

Damn. 

I can, however, take comfort in the greatest gift of anonymity, or semi-anonymity in my case: protection of my loved ones from the sickos who roam the Internet.  If you are especially observant, you may have noticed that I removed the pictures of my children from my blog a couple of days ago. All that remains are a few that do not show their complete faces.  That will be my policy from now on. 

Why did I post them in the first place?  Well, it isn't because I am naive.  Indeed, I have been using pseudonyms since day one.  So why include pictures?   I did so for the simple reason that this blog started out as a means to keep in touch with family and friends.  As other bloggers have found with their own creations, my little corner of the Internet has evolved into something more.  Much to my great surprise, I now have a greater audience.   In real life, I would have no qualms inviting the majority of my readers home to tea.  If I were to encounter others, I would bolt my door and possibly dial 9-1-1.  I will not elaborate on this further, except to encourage you to read Absolutely Banana's excellent post.  With its many links, it is a great starting point.

Yes, anonymity can be a great thing.

Yesterday, an incident occurred on one of my (too many) message boards that reminded me of the downside of anonymity.  A situation came up where an anonymous poster was in a desperately bad place and was appealing for help.  She was in immediate danger and was not thinking rationally.  She did not reveal enough information to allow readers to assist her.  Much to their credit, the message board founder and administration were quick to respond, contacting the police to see if her IP address could be traced.  The end result was not one we would have hoped for.   The IP was unknown, and could not be traced without a warrant.  As for the suffering poster, I can only hope that she will maintain a dialog with her support group instead of doing something regrettable.   I might add that the entire incident may have been a hoax, since trolls are a sad reality of the Internet.  In this case, that would have been preferable. Hoax or not, the situation demanded action.

So, Dear Readers, is anonymity a good or bad thing?

Sometimes it seems you just can't win.

Comments

[LifeLifeLifeAsIKnowIt]

I go back and forth on this issue...Right now I'm not very anonymous, but I am leaning towards changing some things...'cause, even though I wish we didn't have to think about this stuff, you just never know...

[Nancy]

I am not very anonymous, but in all reality, who really is? Of course I don't use my last name, or post photos with addresses, etc. We all know there are ways to track, hunt, and stalk if someone really wants to.

I'm careful what I post or say, but I try not to hold back and just be myself.

If it becomes a problem, I will simply delete my blog and sit in the attic window. Glock in hand, locked and loaded ..... J/K !!!

[Paige]

This is a subject about which I vacillate quite frequently. I recently changed my blog address for this very reason, but I can't help but enjoy putting up pictures of my little ones. I've started putting more private pictures and videos in a password protected section of my site and have switched to pseudonyms entirely.

I hate the fact that this isn't just paranoia, but that people really are just that sick and untrustworthy.

[Kimberly VanderHorst]

I have a similar problem - can't blog about family & friends because some of them read. The fact that my mother reads my blogs does inhibit me sometimes. =)

As for anonymity, I guess I like living on the edge. I use real names, locations, everything. I don't like letting fear dictate my actions. I think living in a teeny-tiny town in the middle of nowhere, Canada, might give me a false sense of security.

I never judge any other blogger for the level of anonymity/privacy. We all have different lives and life experiences that influence our decisions. =)

[AbsolutelyBananas]

good topic... and one that doesn't have an easy answer. I often regret giving my URL to friends and family (especially when a VP from my previous company told me he reads my blog !!!) but I think the good thing about knowing that people you know read it is that it keeps you nice/honest/true to yourself... which is not a bad thing. as for pics of the kids- I don't post them either, but I frequently revisit this decision because I SOOO want to! (sigh)

[Karen Forest]

Thanks for the comment the other day about my post on Oh The Joys...ya know, that I was "comment worthy".... I will now put you in the acceptance speech if I ever get a chance to give it.

I used to never put pics of my kids on my blog, but have recently started to. I don't use our real names and haven't disclosed much of my location. Although the threat is still there and very real, I think at this point, I should probably worry more about the weirdo at Wal Mart or something like that....

But then again, no one reads my blog....ahem...

[CharmingDriver]

This is a strange one for me, for us really. I mean I don't censor what I write even though everyone in both our families (and many friends/co-workers) have the URL because: Fuck that.

But Deels (husband) won't post pictures of himself, hates the few times I have done so and the whole top of his head would blow off if I posted our last name. In his mind, being open to family, friends and the internet at large is fine but he doesn't want to invite trouble by providing a map to our house (figuratively, you know).

Anywho. Good post and I really hope all is okay with the poster you mentioned.

[Jennifer]

I am semi-anonymous and struggle with the decision often. Whenever I post a pic of my kids, usually to prove a point or illustrate a post, I worry. I worry about the sickos out there.

I hope the person on your message board is alright.

[moosh in indy.]

Thanks for scaring the hell out of me.

[Toni]

Like you said- it is a double edge sword!

[Steph]

The world is a scary f'ed up place! Now you have me nervous because, while I prefer to remain anonymous and don't blog or have a website or anything, my writing critique group just set up a blog for ourselves to keep track of who each other is (kinda tough when we've never actually met). It's supposed to be private, accessible to only us, but how much is really private when it's on the Internet???

That's a frightening story about the message board. I hope all is ok with the mysterious and troubled poster.

-Steph
P.S. We should try to get together soon!

[amygeekgrl]

definitely a worthwhile post.
i'll have to chk out what absolutely bananas has to say, though i'm sure it will freak me out.
i post pics of my kids on my blog, partly because photography is a big part of my life and what i enjoy and my kids are often my subjects.
i too have to be careful what subjects i blog about because family and friends read my blog. i feel i could be much more candid if my mom and in-laws didn't read it faithfully. and i often want to write about what a tool my husband is being, but find that that's probably not best (like you said) for our marriage. so i keep my mouth shut.

[Amy H]

Wow.

As if I didn't have enough on my mind today, I am now too scared to work. I want to go through my blog and rip out any and all pictures.

I should ask a bloggy friend (whom I trust, of course) to see if they can figure me out. I knew going into blogging that I should protect their facts - but I didn't realize how much damage someone could do with just their pictures.

Very freaked out now. Very. I'm going to write about this and link to you.

[Lene]

I sometimes want to kick myself for sending out my blog info to all of my friends and family. They hardly ever leave comments and like you - I can't use them in my blogs...at least not the bad stuff about them!

[Snoskred]

Hi, it's Snoskred here. I've recently become a blogging chick and have set myself a challenge to comment on as many Blogging Chick blogs as I can. So that's why I'm here. ;)

I'm a scambaiter, we bait the 419 scammers who defraud people out of money which means anonymity is very important to me. Sometimes I wish I could say more about things and post photos which I currently don't. But I do think in this world of craziness that its wise to try and make sure nobody can connect the real life me with the blog me. ;)

By the way I ended up at your old blog when clicking through the links of blogging chicks, so you might want to update them as to your new URL ;) and love the color scheme!

Snoskred
http://snoskred.blogspot.com/

[Annie]

I think anonymity is the way to go on blogs. Yes our families and kids in particular can be targeted by the many crazies out there 'in real life', but blogs are something over which we have control, and our presence on the internet in general - why give it to the nuts on a plate?